In Chapter five of her book Barbara Coloroso covers the different types of families you have:
The Brick-Wall family-
in essence is a dictatorship of control,obedience, adherence to rules, and strict hierarchy of power.
The Jellyfish family-
lacks a firm structure that is permissive
and a laissez-faire atmosphere prevails.
The Backbone family-
the parents don't demand respect they demonstrate and teach it.
The family structure that every family should be striving for is the backbone family. According to Coloroso children learn to question and challenge authority that is not life-giving.
-They learn that they can say no.
-They learn that they can listen and be listened to.
-They learn that they can be respectful and be respected
themselves!
The most important thing that children of backbone families learn is to love themselves and have empathy for others.
Parents according to Coloroso must develop for their children a network of support through six critical life messages given every day:
1) I believe in you!
2) I trust you!
3) I know you can handle life situations!
4) You are listened to!
5) You are cared for!
6) You are very important to me!
Chapter five begins with a very good quote:
Our most important task as parents is raising children who will be decent, responsible, and caring people devoted to making this world a more just and compassionate place. We can fashion for ourselves and our children a warmer, kinder world that will dispel the darkness and isolation.
-Neil Kurshan-
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