Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Is There a Bully in the House?
In Chapter six Coloroso covers the process of discipline that the act of punishment does not have:
1) It shows the bully what he has done wrong.
2) It gives him ownership of the problem.
3) It gives him a process for solving the problem he created- restitution, resolution, and reconciliation.
4) It leaves his dignity intact!
Discipline according to Coloroso is a constructive and compassionate response to bullying that takes into consideration the intent, the severity of the deed, and the restorative steps needed to help the bully take on a new, more prosocial role.
Discipline is not judgmental, arbitrary, confusing, or coercive. It is not something we do to children. It is a process that gives life to learning; it is restorative and invites reconciliation. Its goal is to instruct, teach, guide, and help children develop self-discipline.
The things you can do as parents:
1) Intervene immediately with discipline.
2) Create opportunities to "do good."
3) Nurture Empathy
4) Teach friendship skills-assertive, respectful, and peaceful ways to relate to others.
5) Closely monitor your child's TV viewing, video game playing, computer activities, and music.
6) Engage in more constructive, entertaining, and energizing activities.
7) Teach your child to "will good!"
It runs in the Family!
In Chapter five of her book Barbara Coloroso covers the different types of families you have:
The Brick-Wall family-
in essence is a dictatorship of control,obedience, adherence to rules, and strict hierarchy of power.
The Jellyfish family-
lacks a firm structure that is permissive
and a laissez-faire atmosphere prevails.
The Backbone family-
the parents don't demand respect they demonstrate and teach it.
The family structure that every family should be striving for is the backbone family. According to Coloroso children learn to question and challenge authority that is not life-giving.
-They learn that they can say no.
-They learn that they can listen and be listened to.
-They learn that they can be respectful and be respected
themselves!
The most important thing that children of backbone families learn is to love themselves and have empathy for others.
Parents according to Coloroso must develop for their children a network of support through six critical life messages given every day:
1) I believe in you!
2) I trust you!
3) I know you can handle life situations!
4) You are listened to!
5) You are cared for!
6) You are very important to me!
Chapter five begins with a very good quote:
Our most important task as parents is raising children who will be decent, responsible, and caring people devoted to making this world a more just and compassionate place. We can fashion for ourselves and our children a warmer, kinder world that will dispel the darkness and isolation.
-Neil Kurshan-
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Expect the Best!
Expect the Best
What's exciting about life is that every morning offers a brand new day with unlimited possibilities. Yesterday's mistakes and regrets belong to yesterday. Today is a clean slate, a chance to start over, to do or become anything you want, a chance to go for it! So, jump into life with both feet! Go forward, head held high, expecting the best......you may be surprised at how often that's exactly what you'll get!
-Anonymous-
Monday, October 28, 2013
Found this book: The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander by Barbara Coloroso
This book is very good in helping to understand the different roles that people play when the bullying is occurring.
The Bully, the bullied, and the bystander
- Book by Barbara Coloroso
It's the deadliest combination going: bullies who terrorize, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who watch, and adults who see the incidents as a normal part of childhood. ...
Coloroso starts her book with a quote from the
movie Chocolat -Pere Henri-
I think we can't go around measuring our goodness by what we don't do, by what we deny ourselves,
what we resist, and who we exclude. I think we've got to measure goodness by what we embrace,
what we create, and who we include.
Overview
It's the deadliest combination going: bullies who terrorize, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who watch, and adults who see the incidents as a normal part of childhood. All it takes to understand that this is a recipe for tragedy is a glance at headlines across the country. In this updated edition of The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, which includes a new section on cyberbullying, one of the world's most trusted parenting educators gives parents, caregivers, educators—and most of all, kids—the tools to break the cycle of violence.
Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth, and her wide experience in the areas of conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, Barbara Coloroso explains:
- Readers learn:
- what bullying is and what it isn't
- the three kinds of bullying
- the differences and similarities between boy and girl bullies
- how to read the subtle clues that a child is being bullied
- seven steps to take if your child is a bully
- four abilities that protect your child from succumbing to a bully
- why zero tolerance policies can equal zero thinking
- why contempt, not anger, drives bullying, and how to confront this in bullies
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Bullying Must Stop!
This blog will be dedicated to all the victims of bullying. We must stop bullies, and make all bullies realize that there are other avenues for seeking attention. I also want for the bullied to stand up by speaking up and telling someone. There is help for the victim, you just have to know where to look for it.
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